I was surprised these turned out as well as they did; I had my doubts when I came back to the restaurant with whole unshelled almonds and my dad pointed out that we didn’t have a nutcracker and why the fuck didn’t I just buy the other ones? Anyways, we spent the rest of the morning pounding out the almonds with mallets, pans, ladles and turkey baster handles because everyone was too cheap to buy one and I didn’t feel like waiting 3 days for my dad to unearth an ancient, slightly mangled, family heirloom.

And a moment of silence for my $6.99 hand mixer. RIP.